eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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