people are starting to question the shark bite story
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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