I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
