You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
