Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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