just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
