is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
Randomize
