If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Randomize
