Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
