Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
