He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
