I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
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