You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
