Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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