i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
