Hey man sorry I got all grabby
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
