Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
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