very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
