I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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