We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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