He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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