If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
