Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
i am craving dick and cupcakes
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Randomize
