I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
