Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
