thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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