I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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