Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
