Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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