so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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