Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
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