You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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