we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
