??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
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