after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
where are you?
Hypothermia
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Randomize
