he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
