I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
