You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
