So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
