awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Worst walk of shame everrr. Hopefully the thought of me walking 20 minutes in the freezing cold with someone else's sweatpants, a bra on & high heels will cheer you up today.
Oh god there are people jogging. Fuck off productive people, you don't know me.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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