I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Randomize