he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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