Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
