is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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