I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
The power of my boobs compel you
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
