So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
