I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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