I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
