just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
