We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
