Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
accomplished twins. life is a go
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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