Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
