I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
