They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Randomize
