I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
