1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
We just shotgunned beers for America
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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