Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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