the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
