the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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