With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
