ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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