North Korea, Best Korea!
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
