Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
