Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
vagina is talking i cant
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
