I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
