Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
