It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize
