she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize