A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
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