I need help removing her.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
