Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He? As in you personified your dick?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
