I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
