I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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