I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
