So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i would punch a child for taco bell
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Randomize
