I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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